2/3/12

The Triple Nickel Pub (Review)



This dive spot is one of those places we love like our drunk selves love Crunch Wrap Supremes at 3 am, or better yet like our inner angsty tween loves some Third Eye Blind every now and then, i.e., our attendance is more of a compulsion than a choice. If we’re being totally honest here, its virtues are few and far between, but you’d be hard pressed to find a cheaper drunk, that is if getting a little sauced happens to be your thing like it is ours/mine.

I wouldn’t send anyone here for an impeccably-mixed cocktail, they may well make them mind you, but, as I’m a sucker for three dollar and fifty scent triple shots of Old Crow, I’ve no frame of reference for that stuff. I do know a thing or two about getting slizzered beyond comprehension for under ten dollars, though. You’ll not find more bang for your buck anywhere in the city. Bet. ­­

Upon entering the Triple Nickel, you might notice that the carpet has seen better days, as in it less resembles carpet now than a sponge for spilled drinks, but that all depends on your night vision. The lighting in here is seriously low, almost creepily low, but not so low that you won’t notice the moldering water/blood stained ceiling tiles that adorn the room.

The stench is, well, potent. Something like a mix of stale beer, nicotine, dashed hopes and dreams, and occasionally body odor. Don’t be deterred though. Give yourself five minutes to get acclimated to your new environment. A treasure trove of alcoholic bliss awaits those who do.

They pour them stiff at the Nickel; inexperienced drinkers need not apply. If alcohol is your vice, and you don’t mind waiting a few extra minutes per drink, then this is your nirvana, provided you aren’t put off by a little grime, which brings us to the Nickel’s bathroom situation. While sufficiently rapey (not exactly a selling point) they are functional, which is more than can be said of other dives in the neighborhood. Plan your trips and use the buddy system when necessary.

The crowd at the Nickel is always colorful, and it’s not uncommon to see blue-collar regulars sidling up next to smug hipster archetypes. Sure, the tension’s palpable but the Nickel’s drinks, by design, keep everyone at bay, for the most part. To whom it may concern, the kinds of girls who frequent this spot are a bit of a mixed bag.



Those who aren’t percocet-addled skanks are worthwhile, not to mention about as attractive as you’ll find in the area, though I wouldn’t come to this place with the explicit intention of picking anybody up if you aren’t there on a Friday, and even that can be tricky. In other words, it ain’t the club, so act accordingly.

The juke box is one of those internet thingamabobs, which means that while your exposure to esoteric indie crap will be kept to a minimum, you will likely be forced to stomach hours of Fleetwood Mac/ Journey, depending on the night, but fear not: the toil that is enduring its patrons’ god awful taste in music will seem inconsequential after you’ve had your first drink.

A note for the uninitiated: drinking here comes with a caveat. This is not a McMenamin’s, i.e., the kind of place that will go out of its way to make sure you don’t get drunk. Seriously, try getting drunk at one of their establishments, it’s impossible, but I digress. The Nickel, on the other hand, has seemingly made it its sole mission to facilitate bad decision-making at cost, so be smart and don’t drive. Seriously. Happy drinking.

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