What the fuck happened to these Adidas sandal things?

What are we looking at here? What's going on in the region above this text? Apparently, adidas has just completely lost it, and has produced one of the most hideous pieces of footwear in history.

Cole Hann Lunar Grand

In a lab buried 20 miles beneath the Cascade Mountains, some diabolical Nike scientists have combined the gala-attending style of a wingtip with their "Lunarlon Cushioning System" to create the Cole Hann Lunar Grand. The Lunar Grand represents exactly what you'd expect from a sportswear company's high end brand: Stylish shoes with a made-up material for the sole. It's currently only available in Cole Hann's soho showroom.

Here is an excerpt from our interview with Nike's science engineers:

Kanye's New Clothes

While Kanye's music career may have attended Ball So Hard University, his fashion career may have dropped out of Ball So Hard Community College. 

Despite his first attempt at fashion design being doo-doo'd upon, Kanye West is determinedly dropping his second effort at women's wear at this year's Paris Fashion Week. Concordantly, Guinness World Records officials will be on-site to confirm the record for Most Playings of "Niggas in Paris" in a Single Week.

Levi's Vintage: Girding Loins since 1873

Levi's just  out-retro'd everyone. Styles may come and go, but there is an indisputable blueprint for men's jeans: The Levi's 501. The west was still an untamed frontier when Levi's dropped their classic trouser in 1890, at which point Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis had been making jeans for 17 years. Levi's design and development wing, Levi's XX has just launched the Levi's Vintage Website. It's worth checking out, especially the page dedicated to the 501, which features a comprehensive breakdown of changes to the classic fit since it's inception.

It all may seem like a little too much emphasis to put on a single article of clothing, but when you're responsible for *95% of the world's pants, you're entitled to a little self-obsession.

Hit the jump for an awesome comparison chart showing the minute changes that have slowly altered the 501 over time.

Barena Lookbook: The most expensive way to look like a post-war Chinese peasant farmer.

Venetian clothier Barena has released it's lookbook for Spring and Summer 2012, and it's pretty clear that they are eschewing the "boat-life" aesthetic prominent in so much clothing design for what can only be dubbed "boatyard-life." But that's being a little salty; maybe it's that sea air.

The lineup here is actually quite nice. A lot of rough textures, muted colors and dangling accents definitely give off a Long March vibe, but that may just be me being subconsciously swayed by the fact that the models appear to have their feet bound.

Other potential names for the increasingly popular "peasant chic:"

     - Proletariat Chic
     - The Great Leap Fashion Forward
     - Rice Paddy Life

Hit the jump for some highlights, and check out the some extra shots at OEN.

Jean Dujardin in GQ

Jean Dujardin. Remember that name. It'll be important to know in the coming years. You could be forgiven for mistakenly assuming that Dujardin's name just recently became relevant thanks to his Oscar-nominated performance as a silent film star faced with the dawn of the talkies this year's The Artist. His turn in the silent film has Hollywood buzzing, and his nomination is just one of the film's ten.

Of course, Dujardin's name has been buzzed about for considerably longer if you ask anyone who has seen the brilliantly funny (and devilishly stylish) pair of French spy spoofs OSS 117 - Cairo: Nest of Spies and OSS 117 - Lost in Rio, in which Dujardin and Michel Hazanavicius (up for best director with The Artist) manage to transcend the spy spoof and elevate it from the shlock that Austin Powers turned into, all while predating the vainglorious misogyny of FX's Archer.

Basically, Dujardin has been killing the game for a minute.

And, as anyone who's seen Dujardin in anything will attest, he looks damn good in a suit. GQ was wise enough to recognize this and has an excellent photoshoot of Dujardin rocking plaid suits like he intends to kill the game then hunt down its family.

Hit the jump for the photos.

Joy Division/Mickey Mouse T-Shirt

This will probably the last time we ever link to the Disney Store, but this Mickey Mouse shirt taking a stylish visual cue from Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures album art is worth the visit. I know it would at least be the second coolest Mickey Mouse shirt that Ultimate Salt contributor Alex Clark owns.

Added bonus: The guy modeling the shirt looks like Danny Brown's Korean cousin.

Hit the jump for the original album art, for comparison's sake.

To pork pie or not to pork pie

It would seem that the tides of change are upon us as pork pie hats of all things are becoming more and more relevant by the day. I've counted more of these in the last month than I have pseudo blue collar hipsters, and we're in Portland mind you. Something's afoot. At this rate, I estimate the pork pie hat will have eclipsed the popularity of the slouchy beanie by roughly mid April. Why any self-respecting man would dawn a ladies' hat beats the hell out of me, but hasn't stopped droves of 20 something year old retirees from doing just that.The guys pictured above seem to be making them work, but these are men who play dress up for a living. Okay, Yogi Bear kills it in the pork pie hat, but he is, like, the lone exception to the rule. Will I be extolling the virtues of these hats in six months? Probably. But I'll salt until then. What do y'all make of these pieces? What's the appeal? 

Alternate Scarface Posters

In addition to its being completely misinterpreted by an entire generation of rappers, Brian de Palma's Scarface has become a mainstay in modern cultural unconscious largely thanks to the staying power of its iconic poster. You might recognize it from every dorm room you've ever been in. You know, it's the black and white one sandwich between the Bobs, Dylan and Marley?

Anyway, Scarface is overrated. Had to get that off my chest. If I wanted to watch someone being an asshole for 3 hours, I'd watch the GOP debates or maybe create a loop of Gary Shapiro. It does have a pretty cool poster though.

Buzzfeed has a collection of some different takes on creating a poster for the film. It's interesting to see some other designs go up against the famous Scarface black and white. I posted some highlights after the jump, but check them all out.

JFK Flatline T (Bean Dip)

As someone who already owns way too many t-shirts, I try to avoid buying any more of them unless absolutely necessary. This Bean Dip JFK design is the definition of absolutely necessary. But there's only one left that I can find, and it's a large, and you know I rock that medium.

So hurry up and get some mediums back in stock! 

Bean Dip's website is worth a look, some cool shirt designs over there.

I can officially no longer show this blog to my mother.

With the American Apparel-boner-inducement piece, Ultimate Salt has taken an inevitable turn into the perverted psyches of its curators.

Well, that turn is now complete.

Designer And None Shall Survive made this super-perverted, but surprisingly stylish Pink Ranger Lust graphic for a Mishka tee. 

ANSS:

T-shirt designed for Mishka and inspired by my childhood lust for the Pink Ranger. The style of the illustration was inspired by Patrick Nagel’s work.

As a child who was driven through pre-adolescence by an overpowering urge to somehow marry Amy Jo Johnson's Pink Ranger, I can proudly say that while I would never wear this t-shirt, I would frame it over my mantle. That is, if I had a mantle.

Hit the jump for a the image itself.

Local 35 Closing

Alright kids. It's good news/bad news time.

Bad news first, as always. Local 35, Portland's premiere (by which we mean only) men's boutique, is shutting its doors for good this month. That means you'll have to buy you ridiculously expensive jeans elsewhere. A good spot to start would be Machus, the vaingloriously titled new shop from Local 35's owner, Justin Machus. It's at 542 East Burnside, in good company between the Russian Mafia-owned strip club and the Plaid Pantry.

There is good news though. Seriously good news.

Good news: Local 35 is clearing inventory with a weekly escalating sale where percentages of discount are as ridiculous as the clothing's original price.

From January 2nd to January 8th (right now), everything in the store is 35% off, meaning you just might be able to sneak out with a T-shirt for under $50. But it gets better.

• Jan. 9th - 15th ------- 50% off (Jeans will now just be regular expensive.)
• Jan. 16th - Close ----- 75% off (Only XXL screen printed button-ups will be left.)

This may be your only chance to get Japanese denim for under a paycheck, so don't pass it up. But don't get in my way, either.

Mishka Parental Advisory Snapback

Late last year NY streetwear company Mishka, in association with long-time object of my sartorial affection New Era, launched its homage to Tipper Gore’s legacy, not to mention the spate of hardworking, albeit profane, rap groups branded with the infamous “parental advisory” warning with their aptly named “Advisory” Snapback Cap. It should be noted that Tipper’s attempt to defy the laws of reverse psychology was an utter failure, and merely emboldened young impressionable white kids like myself to line the pockets of the very people she’d tried stifle, and that it came to be a badge of honor for the kinds of acts that haunt the dreams of white suburban moms to this day. The warning’s abject inefficiency notwithstanding, its titular logo does look sweet on a hat. But alas, as I am perpetually sleeping on cool things only to find out about them months and sometimes year later, I have missed the boat on copping one. If you find one, or happen to be an early adopter who got one when it was trending and haven't beat it to shit, we should talk.

Rise, Lord Vaider (Kicks)

Martin Luther King Junior did some pretty cool stuff. I think we can all agree on that.

There are a ton of different ways you could honor someone of his stature. One of those ways is releasing a sick colorway of Supra Vaiders. I mean, I don't have the option of doing that, but Supra Footwear does, and have done exactly that.