What the fuck happened to these Adidas sandal things?

What are we looking at here? What's going on in the region above this text? Apparently, adidas has just completely lost it, and has produced one of the most hideous pieces of footwear in history.

CHECK IT: Ruin - An incredible post-apocalyptic animated short

Amid the seemingly unending sea of animated shorts that pop up online from time to time, none has stood out as much as Wes Ball's Ruin. Ball is an eight year veteran of Hollywood, where he has primarily stayed behind the scenes, doing graphic work for HBO and special features featurettes Well no more of that. With Ruin, Mr. Ball  has launched himself into the limelight, and we can expect to hear a lot more from him and his company, OddBall Animation.

Naturally, any news will be accompanied by many ballin' puns from yours truly.

What stands out about the short is the visceral feel of the action, an area where other animated science fiction shorts, notably the heralded Rosa, have stumbled. Any great action director imbues their work with a certain kineticism that heightens the tension immeasurably. Whereas the action in Rosa is stilted, as if the characters are floating; silkily dancing around each other in a pantomime of fighting, Ruin is an eight minute long exercise in the act of gut-wrench.

If the recent announcements that Rosa and previously Salted short Archetype will receive feature-length adaptations, surely we can expect the same for Ruin. Or at least a major directing gig for Ballin' Wes Ball, a name we'd do well to remember.

Hit the jump to watch Ruin.

Saga - Chapter 1 (Review)

Saga is a comic that came to the forefront of my attention out of a combination of pedigree and concept. When someone writes one of the best pieces of contemporary literature in recent memory as Brian K. Vaughan did with Y: The Last Man, it is required that attention be paid to whatever project said person turns to next. If that project happens to be a science fiction opus on the scale of Star Wars illustrated by the excellent Fiona Staples, that merely sweetens the pot.

Fully aware of the dangers of expectations, I plunged head first into Saga #1.

What the hell is wrong with Los Angeles?

We find out when:

Los Angeles has a special place in my heart. Unfortunately, that place is the corner of the heart reserved for scorned ex-girlfriends and particularly nasty chunks of cholesterol. I spent a year of my life there, and during that time, developed a hatred far beyond acceptable levels for a geographic region. I could wax poetic about my loathing of this abysmal place, but it would, sadly, be entirely unnecessary, as The Decemberists pretty much nailed it when they called Los Angeles "the ocean's garbled vomit on the shore."

Los Angeles, I'm yours.

Get yo' tomahawks ready. It's Assassin's Creed III.

Barely a week after the leak and subsequent reveal of the Assassin's Creed III cover art, Ubisoft has dropped the debut trailer for the third (but actually like the 17th) installment in the Assassin's Creed saga. The trailer merely confirms what was obvious after the cover art's release; that the "third" game in the series will finally eschew rooftop scrambling over Mediterranean architecture for the frosty wilderness of the American revolution.

If stabbing dudes in a supreme one-upping of the tomahawk massacre scene in The Patriot is your thing, this trailer probably looks pretty awesome.

Backstage Bar

Warning: Your vision should be at least this blurry before attempting food consumption at any McMenamins.

Architecturally speaking, Backstage Bar is easily the most jaw-dropping space in the Portland bar scene. It's immense verticality easily stiff-arms the skyline views from rooftop lounges like Departure and Noble Rot, which are probably its closest competition. The incredibly high ceiling makes for a stunning first impression, and the massive tapestries that it affords the walls make closer inspection equally rewarding.

Just don't inspect closely enough to see anything that's on the menu.