In a move that I think we can all agree is excreting the very nectar of necessity, the Star Wars saga is being rereleased, one movie at a time, with an extra dimension added for shits and giggles. The natural place to start is with Episode 1. What more could an added dimension bring to one of the most abysmal disappointments in cinemas's history?
It's Ultimate Salt's review of Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace in 3D.
There is little point to even discussing the particulars of any of the Star Wars prequels, as that feat has already been accomplished. The discussion is over. There is no need to elaborate further. Instead, I offer you a parable of sorts:
Imagine, if you will, a land mine. Not just any land mine, but a land mine that has already taken from you something or someone that you truly loved. Nothing you could do, no amount of anger you felt or resentment you harbored, could possibly stop this land mine from being an overwhelming success. Warlords and armies the world over will order it by the thousands, but you will never be able to have your loved ones back in your life.
Now, imagine that you found out that this land mine was going to be rereleased with something being touted as an "upgrade." This upgrade, you would find out, is that when detonated, the land mine causes anyone within 300 yards of it to spontaneously developed AIDS. One of the worst inventions in the world has just had its effects compounded by one of the worst diseases in the world, and you are being presented with the opportunity to monetarily support the production of that land mine, and more land mines like it.
What do you do?
Please. I beg of you. Do not see The Phantom Menace in 3D.
2/10
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