Every now and then, you come across a truly special kind of website out there that, well, without getting too graphic, inspires in your nether regions the kind of fervor that makes babies happen. And no I’m not referring to one of those uninspired streaming porn sites, of which there are like a million equally awesome ones at the moment. How original would that be?
Don't think for a second that I'm not eternally grateful for the advent of streaming video, a life-changing event in and of itself, which just so happened to coincide with my coming into my own sexually. I've learned a lot of cool moves over the years by watching, and have the utmost appreciation for its contribution to the furtherance of my own sexual education.
Before it, intrepid aesthetes were relegated to trolling peer-to-peer file sharing sites like Napster and Kazaa, and actually downloading porn onto their machines, a terrifying proposition when you’re 13 and doing it on the sly. Don’t even get me started on the kinds of wait times we perverts of yore were subjected to while trying to download these videos via a 56k modem, not to mention the all too common shock of discovering what you thought you’d downloaded wasn’t actually what you thought at all.
These days, the process has been made so streamlined that it’s largely become tantamount to doing a YouTube search. On most of these sites, you simply pick your category and go to town. Content ubiquity, not to mention the ease with which you can get to the really weird stuff has all sorts of serious implications for our young people, and raises some alarming questions. Namely, how will the next generation ever know the deferred gratification and subsequent joy that comes only after you’ve sorted through a seemingly never ending rotation of grossly mislabeled, pornographic dross to find that elusive banger? More importantly, what happens to that over-stimulated and desensitized generation when it becomes so apathetic to sex that it stops doing the act entirely? Think about it.
At Ultimate Salt, we believe cardinal virtues like temperance and prudence should inform the pursuit of pleasure, at least in public spaces, which is why we have chosen to honor the following girlfriend/mom-in-the-room-friendly site for its unwavering commitment to producing porn that’s not porn but still is porn. So, without any further ado, I present to you our pick for best non-pornographic-but-nonetheless-private-part-growth-inducing website, American Apparel.
Here are some their awesome, and only marginally exploitative ads.
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